21-year-old plans solo trip to Disney, controlling mom won't allow her to go by herself: 'I live with her and contribute to the house. I pay internet, streaming services and even rent'

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Apr 20, 2025 4:00 PM EDT

Doing things alone is one of the best parts of being an adult. Heck, I wrote a whole article on this website about how I think it's the key to solving loneliness. Going out alone is great for an abundance of reasons. It gives you confidence in yourself and the fact that you can do anything. It opens you up to new kinds of experiences, places, and people. Plus, it gives you much-needed time for reflection which is sometimes hard to get if you're in the company of others. These reasons, and many more support my belief that if you have the chance to solo travel, you should do it. Not many people get to do it over their lifetimes, and many wish they could. 

This doesn't mean you won't have some haters trying to slow your roll along the way, though. Some don't understand the desire to be alone, and others might worry for your safety. Sometimes you just have to do it anyway.

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    via Igor Starkov

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • That's what happened in this situation where a young woman had a trip to Disney planned, but was worried about the reaction from her overbearing mother. And when her half-sister bailed on their plan to go together, the plot thickened. Read on for the story and see what you think.

  • 02

    AITA for telling my mom I'm going on this trip whether she likes it or not?

    I (21F) am planning to go on a trip to Disney soon in a few months and my mom doesn't want me to go alone and wants me to go with someone. I have planned to go with my sister (20F) But she had let me know her Aunt has passed and could not come to which I'm fine with.
    via u/Aware-Surprise-4483
  • 03
    My sister agrees I should go by myself as I could have lots of fun without being tied down to anyone the whole week but I am worried if I go by myself my mom would probably be p ed even after I place boundaries down and let her know I will contact her regularly while I'm there. She has repeatedly made multiple attempts to make me reschedule but I have had my mind set on this for a while and I will not change the dates regardless of what she tells me.
    via u/Aware-Surprise-4483
  • 04
    How can I talk and express to her I would feel a lot better by myself on this trip to try new things and explore myself without having to feel like an AH and just going without a word? (My sister is my half sister, we share the same dad but different moms)
    via u/Aware-Surprise-4483
  • 05

    Commenters came in with moral support.

    West_House_2085 • 12h ago You're 21 & your mom still has to approve your vacations? Just go to Disneyland! NTA
    via u/West_House_2085
  • 06
    sleepdeficitzzz • 9h ago I only need the second and last words of this comment to render me speechless. OP is going all by herself at 21 to Disneyland. This sounds like it should be an overprotective mom's dream declaration of independence/act of "rebellion".
    via u/sleepdeficitzzz
  • 07
    • HappySummerBre... 12h ago My kids helped me adjust to not being an authority in their adult lives by saying "thanks for caring about me mum" and then just doing whatever they wanted. But they kindly didn't rub my nose in it and gave me space to adjust my expectations. Nta
    via u/HappySummerBreeze
  • 08
    Boysenberry • 12h ago INFO: do you live with your mother and/or rely on her financially in a significant way?
    via u/Boysenberry
  • 09
    Aware-Surprise-4483 OP · 12h ago I live with her and contribute to the house, I pay Internet, streaming services and even rent; as well as things needed for the house.
    via u/Aware-Surprise-4483
  • 10
    BigBelly SOLAR
    via Ty Dennis
  • 11
    momomunch 12h ago Well then clearly you're an adult capable of being responsible and paying bills. You can play hardball and be direct, but that might rub her the wrong way and cause a freak out.
    via u/momomunch
  • 12
    I'd suggest telling her that this is your chance to spread your wings alone for the first time and schedule a daily check-in time with her... The only problem is it sounds like she still sees you as a child and won't accept this. At the end of the day you now need to be an adult and start knowing when to put your foot down and be firm about your decisions and when to be compassionate to another's feelings. Both of these have a place in the conversation with her.
    via u/momomunch
  • 13
    thegildedlimabean • 12h ago NTA. Dude I legit bounced round Europe as a solo female traveler for two months when I was 21 (graduation present to myself). Were my parents worried? Sure. Did that stop me? Nope.
    via u/thegildedlimabean
  • 14
    How did I help the situation? Sent the "I'm alive and in this city today" texts, along with a selfie as proof of life. Provided my itinerary and copies of my passport and everything hotel information. It's completely normal for parents to worry when their kids travel solo (especially daughters) but you just need to take precautions so both parties can be relaxed.
    via u/thegildedlimabean
  • 15
    numbbody475 • 12h ago Ma'am. You are 21. You are more than capable of taking care of yourself. Now I do AGREE that going on a trip alone is not a safe thing at all, but as long as you're cautious go have fun. You planned this trip. Go have your trip. Try
    via u/numbbody475
  • 16
    making a compromise with your mom by saying you'll call her every night before bed or do daily check ins during the day. She may just be worried about you getting hurt or worse
    via u/numbbody475
  • 17
    . MajorAd2679 12h ago You're 21 years old and are working. Let your mother know that you're not asking for her permission as you don't need it, you're just being nice and letting her know that you're going away from x to x date.
    via u/MajorAd2679
  • 18
    She doesn't have to agree as it's your life, not hers. She needs to realise that you're a grown adult. Also make sure that financially you're fine and have a saving pot to be able to afford to move out. You need to think of doing it earlier rather than later. As long as you live with her, she'll never think of you as an independent adult.
    via u/MajorAd2679
  • 19
    Friendly-Channel-... • 12h ago There isn't anyplace safer than Disney. You are old. enough to do what you want.
    via u/Friendly-Channel-480
  • 20
    Take-that-1913 9h ago Your mom needs to stay in her own lane. She can be concerned, that's fine, but she has no say in this matter. I'm a mom & moms tend to worry. Just tell her you appreciate her concern, but you're going on vacation to
    via u/Take-that-1913
  • 21
    Disney as planned. Assure her you won't talk to strangers or go off with anybody. Oh oh, now I'm worried! lol Just be careful & be aware of your surroundings.
    via u/Take-that-1913
  • 22
    Lissa_Marie19 10h ago NTA • No real advice, just solidarity. I planned a solo trip to Disney World in my mid 20s. I had it entirely planned and paid for before I told my very overprotective parents, because I knew they'd shut me down, and I was (and am)
    via u/Lissa_Marie19
  • 23
    too big of a people pleaser to stand up for myself. Biggest, most rebellious thing I'd ever done. This is one of those times where apologizing later is better than asking permission first...take the trip, call occasionally, and have a wonderful time!
    via u/Lissa_Marie19
  • 24
    ForwardCorp • 7h ago Tell her theme parks are one of the safest places because they cater to children. My sister bought a season pass to a local theme park just so she can have a safe place to walk for exercise. You will be fine, just don't let any hitch-hiking ghosts follow you home!
    via u/ForwardCorp
  • 25
    Entertainment Odd... . • 11h ago NTA. I get the concern as a parent. But part of being a parent is having to let go. It's not your job to manage your mom's feelings.
    via u/EntertainmentOdd4233

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aita disney moms solo travel parenting reddit thread parent Reddit raising kids adult children Parenting Fail parents children vacation Parenting FAILS
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